Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
