I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
