You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
