i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
