I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
