you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
