Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
