i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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