he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
