It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
