my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
