Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
