i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
