I need help removing her.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
