My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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