Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
