Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
