doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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