you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I have aggressive nipples.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
