Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize