Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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