I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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