He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
