just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
