I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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