We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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