i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
