she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
