Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
