No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize