after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
