My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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