I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
