Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize