I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
