we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
