I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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