I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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