No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Drake has all the answers
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
