How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
