You're completely useless in the revolution.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i think i have herpe
just one?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
