u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
