He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm eating all of the evidence.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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