ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
...so i touched it.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
