And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize