is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
