and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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