it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
