you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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