If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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