Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
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