Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
