The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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