My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She's the barista slut.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
