So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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