I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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