I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
