i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
