i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
