i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Did we literally take a cab across the street
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
