it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
