Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I think your dad took our porno
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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