Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
