I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
