terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
